The Manifestation of My Shortcomings

Millarville, Alberta

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I built a room onto the side of this school when I was 7 or 8 years old, and nobody but me knew it was there. It was an imaginary space, but as real to me as the bricks and mortar building it was attached to.  

The room was situated high on the west side, above the fire escape.  The only entrance was through a small secret door in a closet. When I got overwhelmed by activity and people, I would escape to the room.

I went there every day, sometimes more than once.

The room’s outer walls were glass panels. There was a view to the horizon over the tree-tops, but nobody could see into the room. It was a cheerful secluded space, sparsely furnished with a couch and a few shelves.  An infinite library of books lined the walls and covered most of the floor.

The odd thing about the room is that I remember going there, but I don’t remember much about being there.

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Shy: from Old English Scēoh – a flight response of a horse.

The word “shy” began as an attribute of horses but evolved to describe human characteristics related to social discomfort, timidity, or bashfulness.

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I was shy as a child, not at all comfortable in the company of strangers. 

I knew that living in my imaginary room on a full-time basis was not an option. Life is meant to be lived in community but knowing that the room existed helped me deal with a complex and intimidating world.

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While we are on the topic of shortcomings….

Deafness is similar to shyness; both are physical conditions over which the afflicted person has very little control. Both isolate, and one can be confused for the other. When I don’t hear, others assume that I am indifferent, that I don’t care about their words.  Even worse, they may assume that I am distracted, or too dull-witted to comprehend what they are saying.  

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Consider the dual meaning of the term tone-deaf. In a clinical sense, tone deafness is the inability to perceive musical pitch.  The same term used metaphorically describes a person who is insensitive to the feelings of others. 

In the hearing world, deafness is often mistaken for insensitivity.

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Being both introverted and mildly hearing-impaired is a difficult combination.  In my later years, I have mitigated my social timidity, but my hearing has deteriorated. On a consolidated basis, my impairment level is about the same at seventy as it was when I was seven.

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I left the room behind when I finished high school, but I never entirely forgot about it.

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In my seventieth year, I decided it was time to physically build the room.  Last winter I hired an architect to combine all the attributes of my imaginary space and turn it into reality.  I wanted Solid, Secluded, Transparent, and Comfortable, with an Outstanding View.

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I hired a very talented timber framer, and a general contractor with connections to experienced tradespeople.  Ji and Renato deployed their talents over the summer to construct the room.

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While it was being built, we employed a furniture designer, to construct a table, bench, and couch.  Dave placed the furniture in the room when it was finished.

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The room is decorated with meaningful artifacts. A 120-year-old post hangs from the ceiling, suspended by antique fencing pulleys. A string of patio lights wrapped around the post illuminate the living area. 

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The fireplace is fabricated from river rock, worn smooth by millennia of flowing water. Natural Gas fuel for the fire comes from shallow and abundant caverns in the earth beneath us. 

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The room is perched high on an Alberta foothill, overlooking John Ware Ridge and Kananaskis Country, with a Rocky Mountain backdrop, and endless sky.

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One of the best vistas from the room is at night.  It faces south, with a 180° peripheral view.

In the winter months all the great southern constellations are the artwork on our walls. Hercules, Aquarius, Pegasus, and Andromeda all rotate through the panorama. Planets meander by on schedules not aligned with the stars; Jupiter, Saturn, Mars and the lovely Venus all make appearances. 

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But my favourite event of the evening is when The Hunter arrives.  Orion is unmistakable, marked by his three-starred belt with dangling sword, a shield and bright legging armour.  Orion has a club perpetually raised, ready to slay his prey. His right shoulder is marked by the unmistakable red star, Betelgeuse.  

Orion’s faithful dog Sirius follows him, chasing a perpetually terrified rabbit, Lepus.

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Night view from the room, and with the constellations populated.

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There is an old saying in Southern Alberta that goes, “We have two seasons, Winter and Stampede Week”. It’s not quite that bad, but summers here are short, and spring and fall can be even shorter. The room will stretch outdoor living time by expanding the temperate seasons, thereby diminishing the effects of Alberta’s near-perpetual winter.

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Among the antique furnishings, there are two modern reclining chairs with thermal blankets. Function over Form where our weary bones are concerned.

When you come for a visit, there will be places for you to sit. There’s…

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The imaginary room I created in Little School had shelves and books, but technology has eliminated that requirement.  I have an infinite library and encyclopedic information in my I-Thing, all I need is a USB-friendly power supply.

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On summer days, when the sun is at its full glory, there are lounge chairs on the lower deck where willing participants can work on their melanoma.

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The room is enclosed by screens and glass panels.  Just like my imaginary room, the view stretches to the horizon, but privacy is complete.

I am forever grateful to Bear and the tradespeople we employed (and became friends with).  They helped me turn my paracosmic fantasy into a reality. 

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