One For the Road

Bratislava, Slovakia

Do you see cars on any of these roads?

No?  That’s because vehicles are not allowed in Bratislava’s Old Town district. 

Dozens of character streets are blocked off, so only pedestrian traffic is allowed to enter. It makes exploring Old Town a relaxing experience, without motor vehicle noise or safety concerns.

Until two Canadian tourists showed up.

I still don’t know how I did it, but somehow, I got on the wrong side of the vehicle/pedestrian barricades in our rented Toyota, and there was no getting out once we were on the wrong side. 

Bear and I drove up and down forbidden streets for what seemed like hours, looking for a way out. One of us was stressed about this, to the breaking point.

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We saw all of downtown Bratislava’s historic sites from the comfort of our rent-a-ride, driving among strolling tourists, curio shops, and sidewalk tables.

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I stopped to ask this worker for directions.  He said “hlúpy turista!”

I’m not sure what it means, but I don’t think it was directions.

(Stupid Tourist!)

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Harry Houdini was from this part of the world. When it appeared that we were locked in the plaza forever, I was hoping the great escape artist would appear and spring the trap for us.

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The one saving grace was that it was gently raining, so the crowd size was small. The few people who paid attention to us driving around the plaza either scowled, or joined Bear laughing at the dim-witted tourist behind the wheel, reversing down dead-end streets.

There was a police car inside the barricade. I thought about asking the officer for directions out of our predicament, but my Slovak language skills are as impaired as my driving.

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Back at the hotel, lobby staff offered us a complimentary pear schnapps as we walked through.

I took two, one to settle my nerves, and …

… one for the road.

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