Millarville, Alberta
Bear and I had a great time on our American Oddities Tour, we are so glad you could join us. Here are some statistics from the trip:
- 9 Days
- 4,577 Km (2,844 miles)
- 5 States, 1 Province
- Too Many Roadside Ice-Creams
- 14 Monkey’s Uncle Oddity Awards
- 2244 views on WellWaterBlog, from
- 35 Countries.
There were so many interesting things to see on the journey, I didn’t have time to write or publish all of them. Here are some notes that got left on the cutting-room floor.
… Happy Trails
Day 1 – Belgian Beer Café, Calgary Airport, International Departures
What can I get you?
Coffee and toast please.
Do you want Bailey’s with that?
At 5:30am? No thanks.
Apparently, alcohol for breakfast is a thing. All nine players on the team at the bar are well into the happy/chatty phase of intoxication, before 6:00am.
Day 2 – Joshua Tree National Forest, California
I was only moderately surprised to come across The End of the World in the Mojave Desert.
Day 2 – Copper Room Bar and Restaurant, Yucca Valley, California
Bear seldom drinks alcohol, but we were having supper at The Copper Room, a restaurant/bar Gram Parsons once frequented. They had a special “Gramarita” cocktail, so she decided to try one. What she didn’t realize is that the alcohol content was “Parsons-sized”.
I spent the evening with one giggly Bear.
“The Morning After Bear”
Day 3 – Yucca Valley, California
Sleep came early, so did wake. Just before I woke up, I had a dream. I was lost in a big city, I didn’t have my cell phone, no money, no anything. I was in a subway or train station, but I had no idea what city it was, or where I was trying to get to. I didn’t know where Bear was or how to contact her. I was looking around the station for some official to ask directions of, or advice from, but everybody was ignoring me.
Then I spotted this guy. He looked vaguely familiar to me, somebody I had seen around home, so I approached him and asked where we were.
The man in my dream, except his hat was much bigger than this.
I chatted briefly with the man, but he was making no sense at all. Then I woke up.
For all I know, I am still lost in a train station in some unknown city, talking to a hillbilly.
Day 3 – Route 66, Barstow, California
“At last there’s Barstow, and more desert until at last the mountains rise up again, the good mountains, and 66 winds through them.”
John Steinbeck in The Grapes of Wrath
“Nothing behind me, everything ahead of me, as is ever so on the road”.
– Jack Kerouac.
Day 3 – Bakersfield, California
Streets of Bakersfield – Dwight Yoakum and Buck Owens
Bakersfield is famous for the Bakersfield Sound, a sub-genre of country music with rock-and-roll and honky-tonk influences. Buck Owens, Dwight Yoakum, The Mavericks, and Emmylou Harris all perform in the style.
The Rolling Stones even gave it a shot.
We never lingered on the streets of Bakersfield, but we did crank up the onboard tunes.
Bear, humming away to Far Away Eyes
– The Rolling Stones.
Day 3 – North Bakersfield, California
The saddest story of our journey occurred in Bakersfield. We needed some practical items, paper towel and the like, so I pulled into a Dollar General Store located on our route.
We found the items we were looking for and headed to the counter. There was an elderly lady in a wheelchair in the line ahead of us. She had a large can of dog food and was counting out nickels and dimes to pay for it. The item was priced at $3.80.
While she and the clerk were counting coins, the lady mentioned her dog a couple of times. The animal wasn’t with her, but she was intent on telling everybody about it.
While she rummaged through her purse the lady and the clerk both apologized to us several times for taking so long. We assured them that they could take all the time they needed.
Despite several attempts in the bottom of her handbag, the lady had only come up with $2.20, and she was becoming quite flustered. She called out to a man who had moved into the lineup behind us. She addressed him by name and asked if he had $1.60. The disheveled, and seemingly handicapped fellow answered,
“No Mom, I only have food stamps.”
There were more apologies for taking so long, an un-accepted plea from the lady to bring the clerk the shortfall “next week”, and another imbedded mention of the dog.
I would like to think it was compassion driving me, or it might just have been a desire to resolve the issue and get going, but I offered to cover the shortfall. After first refusing my offer, it was graciously accepted on the second attempt.
While the clerk was sorting out payment for our items and collecting the extra $1.60, the wheelchair lady and her son both thanked us again, but not before mentioning the dog once more.
I presented the lady with a few extra dollars from my change. We said our goodbyes and left the store.
I felt some satisfaction that I had done a good deed, but I was bothered by something. I said to Bear,
“The lady doth protest too much, methinks”. “The repeated, unnecessary mention of a dog makes me doubt that she has one.”
The destitute family is dining on dog food tonight, …
… methinks.
Day 4 – Folsom, California
Folsom; come for the prison, stay for the charm.
We arrived in Folsom expecting a grey institutional city. What we found was a vibrant, tourist town, with great restaurants, funky shops, and super-friendly people.
Day 4 – Highway 36 California
When the kids were young, we drove a big SUV so we could accommodate all four of them, their stuff, and their friends. Parenting was a wonderful experience, but Bear and I dreamt of the day we could tour in a two-seater sports car, just us and our tooth brushes.
Well, here we are, touring in a behemoth vehicle. There are only the two of us, but it is packed with stuff belonging to our now-adult children and their spouses.
The motorhome rides well, for a motorhome, which means it is noisy, cumbersome, and rough. On straight freeways it handles acceptably, but that is not where we went today.
We left central California at Red Bluff and took highway 36 to the coast.
The first half of the trip was like driving through an 18,000-hole golf course. The narrow road winds for miles through lush fields, forests, and farmland.
As Highway 36 traverses the mountains, the road gets incredibly twisty. The scenery is still great but there isn’t much time to enjoy it, as all eyes must remain on the next loop in the pavement.
On the downhill side of the mountains, the Redwood trees start to appear.
Bear and I have traveled far and wide, so we are hard to impress, but these trees are magnificent!
Highway 36 spit us out at Fortuna, California and a much-needed break from driving.
Somewhere around the 2000th curve, with the motorhome swaying and its contents rearranging themselves in the back, Bear and I rekindled our dream of a sports car.
Day 5 – Eureka, California
Grandma always had pinecones decorating her house in Saskatchewan. They weren’t native to the province.
It never occurred to me until this trip, but Grandma must have picked up the pinecones when she was on her honeymoon in northern California in 1926.
The giant cones had a special symbolism to her, they decorated her home for more than 60 years.
I don’t see a pinecone in this photo, taken in Grandma’s living room in 1963, but there would be some within sight of the family group.
Grandma Florence, Grandpa Billie, Pat Paton (Mom), Russell, Kevin, and Brad on the floor.
Day 5 – Klamath Falls, Oregon
American politics is split right down the middle, with not too many people occupying the centre ground (”center”, for our American readers). The factions describe themselves by team colours, red and blue. Each team gets their news from sources aligned with their ideological colour choice.
As a result, Americans live in opposing realities.
The Best Western Hotel where we stayed in Klamath Falls, Oregon is attempting to cater to both factions. The hotel lobby has two televisions, side-by-side.
The television on the left caters to the political Left; the one on the right is tuned to a Right leaning broadcaster.
The sound was lowered on both, so I alternated reading news on the closed captioning. The tone of the messages being broadcast were polar opposite.
After about ten minutes of political ping-pong, I wanted to switch channels on both TVs to reruns of The Bugs Bunny Hour.
American politics makes me cross-eyed.
Day 6 – Sun Valley, Idaho
We took a day off in Sun Valley.
Day 7 – Butte, Montana
We developed a routine while we were traveling, we would have a big breakfast before we hit the road, and dinner in the evening wherever we landed. Lunch often consisted of snacks, or a stop at an ice-cream shop.
It was “ice-cream” day in Butte.
We never knew it until we got home, but while we were sipping milkshakes at the Butte Dairy Queen, an elephant escaped from a circus truck and wandered the streets of Butte for an hour.
I really wish this big pachyderm had wandered up to the take-out window while we were at DQ.
(AP News reported that circus personnel followed Viola through the streets of Butte in a truck with her boyfriend on board. They cornered the elephant in a parking lot and coaxed her onto the truck with her friend – no harm done.)
Day 8 – Anaconda, Montana
We didn’t have time for much shopping on this trip, but we did drop in at a couple of antique stores.
This lamp popped up in Anaconda, Montana. I asked Bear if she would like it as an anniversary gift.
She said,
“Okay, but you realize there is only room for one of you in the trunk.”
The goat is still in Anaconda, and I have a seat in the motorhome.
I didn’t even ask about this tentacle lamp.
Day 9 – Great Falls, Montana to Millarville, Alberta
Well, one more Bucket List item ticked off – a Steinbeckian – Travels with Charlie, cross-country, motorhome tour is something I have always wanted to do.
You don’t want to put these things off. Most of the historical people we encountered on our American Oddities Tour died before their time should have been up.
Gram Parsons and Elsie Mitchell both died at 26. Steinbeck, Hemingway, and Charlie Russell all checked out in their early 60s. Johnny Cash only lived 71 years.
The one celebrity we came across who lived into his 80s was the Unabomber. Ted Kaczynski died in prison at 81.
Only the Good Die Young comes to mind.
The next items we intend to draw from the Bucket List are, Aaron and Emma’s wedding here at the ranch in June, another flying trip to California in July to see The Rolling Stones in concert, and a journey to Austria and Hungary, which is still in planning stages for the fall.
We look forward to having you with us for those adventures as well. The events wouldn’t be the same without you.
Until then, …
… Happy Trails
Leave a Reply