Tallywacker

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Quito, Ecuador

Ecuador has produced its share of famous people.  Wikipedia has a long list of notable writers, politicians, sports stars, artists, and musicians born in the South American country.   I studied the list, but none of the names were familiar, until I got to the “Other” category.  The first name on the list struck fear into my lower mid-section…

 … Lorena Bobbit.

Bobbitt, an Ecuadorian immigrant living in Virginia, is famous for cutting off her husband’s penis with a Ginsu carving knife while he slept.  The 1993 story garnered worldwide attention (and more than a few rude jokes). 

At her trial it was revealed that Bobbitt suffered from an impaired emotional state, deemed to be a result of years of physical and mental abuse by her husband.  She was found not guilty by reason of insanity and released, subject to a 45-day clinical evaluation of her mental state.

Bobbitt passed her evaluation, then resumed her maiden name, Gallo, and attempted to re-enter society.  She formed an anti-domestic abuse organization and joined the daytime talk show circuit, bringing attention to issues of domestic violence and marital rape. 

In October 1996, Gallo travelled to her native Ecuador, where she met with then President Abdalá Bucaram for an official dinner to celebrate her abuse advocacy.

Gallo continued to suffer bouts of violent temper throughout her life, but she was able to resume a more-or-less conventional path.

John Wayne Bobbitt’s life, by contrast, continued its downward spiral.

John Bobbitt’s severed body part was surgically replaced after the incident.  He regained full functionality of his penis after a lengthy recovery, but his brain continued to malfunction. 

Bobbitt attempted to capitalize on his infamy by appearing in two adult films, John Wayne Bobbitt Uncut, and John Wayne Bobbitt’s Frankenpenis.  He formed an unsuccessful rock band, The Severed Parts, and made guest appearances on The Howard Stern Show and World Wrestling Federation.

None of these ventures paid the bills.  When his show-business ventures failed, Bobbitt turned to religion.  He served as a wedding chapel minister at Universal Light Church.  (ULC was famous for ordaining anyone who asked, and for bestowing a Doctor of Theology degree on anybody, for the low price of $200.)

Very few people were interested in having John Wayne Bobbitt officiate at their wedding, so that venture also failed.  John worked occasionally as a pizza delivery driver, a tow truck operator, a taxi driver, and as a bartender, with little success in any field.

John continued drinking and abusing subsequent wives and girlfriends.  He was arrested several times for battery and other parole violations, in the years after having his penis severed for the same behaviour. 



It took a car wreck to curtail John Wayne Bobbitt’s abusive behaviour, something his ex-wife couldn’t achieve with a right-handed …

…  Tallywacker.



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